Some things better left unsaid
by kukka
Summary: In the end of season 4, Buffy and Giles have a talk about what happened 2 years ago, when Giles was in the hands of Angelus.


Titel: Some things better left unsaid

Author: Kukka

Pairing: B/G friendship

Rating: FRC (G )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemie,…etc.

Notes: Thanks to Asht for Beta-reading

It was late at night when Buffy came to Giles after Patrol.

"Giles ?", she asked whilst opening the door.

"Buffy, do come in". Although it was far after 2 am, Giles was still wide awake, sitting on his couch and reading. He put the book aside.

Buffy sat down beside him but did not look at him. When he noticed he turned towards her.

"How was Patrol ? Is everything alright ?" She didn't seem to hear him, so he tried again.

"Buffy ?…talk to me, please…is everything alright ?", she finally looked up at him.

"Yes. I mean…no…I mean…man, this is hard !", she took a deep breath and continued

"Giles there is something I…something you need to tell me…ehm, no..wait ! There is something I need to know from you ! May I ask you something ?", she looked at him.

"Certainly, what do you want to know ?", he asked a little curious.

Buffy stood up and began walking around his living room. She was nervous because she had no idea, how he would react to the question that was about to be asked.

She sat down again and looked him in the eyes…well, she tried.

"Giles, first of all I would like to apologise…for all the time I seemed to neglect you.

I know it was wrong to do so and you must believe me when I say it wasn't my intention.

There was just so much going on…you know with Angel and all that. Guess I don't need give you the whole list. All I want you to know is, that I'm truly sorry…not only for running away that summer and for everything what happened before that, but also for not showing you how much I care, when I came back. I do care for you, Giles ! And I need to know…I need to know what happened two years ago, back in…back in the old Mansion…with Angelus.", she looked away quickly.

Her speech was followed by a long silence. At first, Giles looked at her like she was some kind of monster, but then he stood up and walked towards the window, looking out of it for a long time.

Buffy could feel how tensed up he was and she wanted to go over to him and tell him that she was sorry. But that part was already done. The only thing she could do now, was to wait.

After far too long, Giles silently walked into his kitchen to make some tea for them both.

A few minutes more and he was finally sitting on his couch again, looking at Buffy.

"I don't believe, that you really want to know.", he said calmly and looked away.

"Please, Giles I need to know !", she pleaded with him.

"Well, if you insist. But I will not go into detail, that would be too…that just wouldn't do you any good!"

"It didn't do you any good either", she answered, but his look quietend her.

"Yes, you're right", was all he said, slowly and calmly, trying to block any memories out.

"But that's not what I meant. I won't go into detail because I don't want you to know what Angelus is…was capable of. I'll give you the short version. The very short version !"

With that he stood again and began pacing around.

Buffy sat on the couch, knees pulled up to her chin. She was looking at Giles and waiting for him to begin.

He took a long, slow breath to calm his nerves and then he started to tell her.

"All right…there were…there are various scars and burns, all over my back and on my arms.

I can't recall in which order they were inflicted, only that there were many of them and that they hurt. They still hurt sometimes…silly isn't it ? I mean it's so long ago." He laughed during the last words.

Buffy stared at him, now with tears in her eyes.

Giles for his part, tried to smile at her.

"Xander said, you didn't recognise him at first and…I know there were broken fingers", she said gently.

Giles looked at his left hand and showed it to Buffy.

The scars on his fingers were still visible. "Ah…yes as you can see. Angelus broke them like…like they were…", he choked up and sat down again. Close to tears himself.

"And Xander ?", she asked.

"Drusilla played a little game with me…some sort of mind-reading. She saw, what was in my heart. I told them, Buffy! I told them how to awaken Acathla ! They made me…I saw Jenny and I…I told her !" His voice broke as a sob escaped him.

Buffy took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"It's okay now, Giles…the world is still turning and we're all here."

He blinked the tears away and looked at her "I know, but that doesn't change the fact, that I told her what they had to do ", he wiped the last tears away and continued.

"The things Angelus did…it was just too much and when I saw Jenny…I thought, that's it

it will soon be over. I told her that we had to keep Angelus away from Acathla, that his blood was the trigger…I was so happy, to see her again…and when Xander came to rescue me, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, again…but why would I like to see Xander ?"

He was laughing again, but this time there was no humour in his voice.

He looked at Buffy, who was still holding his hand.

"Well that's all I can tell you ! Come on then, it's pretty late or rather early, I'll drive you home. You should get some sleep, as should I", he was trying to stand up but Buffy had a tight grip on him.

"Show me,…please", she said in a low noise.

Giles just looked at her, a little bewildered "Show you what ?".

"The scars...", she couldn't look at him any longer and released his hand, thinking that he would just go to his car, to drive her home, because she had gone too far.

But he still stood before her looking down on the floor.

"Buffy I don't know…"

"No Giles ! You told me what happened just a few minutes ago, so don't you dare and say that seeing your actual scars wouldn't do me any good…or whatever it was you were going to say!", she nearly screamed at him.

He just turned around and lifted his shirt. And than he heard Buffy, as she began to cry.

"That is just what I meant. I didn't want you to cry, Buffy", he turned around again and sat down beside her, taking her into his arms and rocking gently.

"That's why I didn't want to tell you the details. Because they would only bring you tears, just like the scars did."

the End


End file.
